Connie Capers On Patrol

by Ralph McTell

Connie Capers on patrol in Tickle Town
She walks up the streets and round the houses
And then walks down again
Connie Capers on patrol in Tickle Town
She wants to help somebody
She wants to be their friend

"Hello, hello, hello, what's this then?"
Sgt Sweeny will say
"What kind of mess, no let me guess,
Have you been in today?"

Was it the hole in the road
Has a heavy lorry gone and shed its load  

Connie Capers on patrol in Tickle Town
She walks up the streets and round the houses
And then walks down again
Connie Capers on patrol in Tickle Town
She wants to help somebody
She wants to be their friend

"Hello, hello, hello, what's this then?"
Sgt Sweeny will say
"What kind of mess, no let me guess,
Have you been in today?"

"Was it the traffic jam
I should have gone myself, what a fool I am
Oh Connie what kind of mess are you in today?"

Trying, she keeps trying
Though sometimes she feels like crying
When things get tough she won't give up
Until everyone around her is smiling

Connie Capers on patrol in Tickle Town
She walks up the streets and round the houses
And then walks down again
Connie Capers on patrol in Tickle Town
She wants to help somebody
She wants to be their friend

"Hello, hello, hello, what's this then?"
Sgt Sweeny will say
"What kind of mess, no let me guess,
Have you been in today?"

Was it a cat stuck up a tree
The fire brigade, oh dear me
Oh Connie what kind of mess are you in today

Connie Capers on patrol in Tickle Town
She walks up the streets and round the houses
And then walks down again
Connie Capers on patrol in Tickle Town
She wants to help somebody
She wants to be their friend